I’ve lived all over this town. From a loft in an underdeveloped part of Downtown (and I’m being generous there) to a quiet neighborhood apartment in Westwood and now in between, I’ve seen a lot of different kinds of people. I’ve seen college kids running through the UCLA campus in their underwear. I’ve seen that guy with roller-skates and a guitar who spends his days (and nights, I assume) on Venice Beach. I’ve walked along Hollywood Boulevard at three in the morning with the drunken revelers and the costumed characters as they stumble back home. But the Undie Runners, Roller Guy, and even Darth Vader, now missing a helmet and smelling of whiskey, wouldn’t be out of place at one of my favorite LA haunts.
Miss Kitty’s Parlour, now monthly at the Dragonfly.
It’s a true circus, whether the theme for the night involves cowboys or clowns or science-fiction. Everywhere you look is something (or someone) that you can’t take your eyes from, and it’s only a matter of time until Miss Kitty herself takes over the microphone.
“It’s time to get fuckin’ wasted, motherfuckers,” she says, and she means it. There are contests, too. Some outrageous (going down on a fake phallus for prizes) and some of which exist only speed up the drinking process for some lucky “winners” as they race to the bottom of “strong-ass drinks.” Their victory? More drinks.
“I don’t like to think of us as a fetish club,” said Kitty. “I like to think of us as a place where everything goes, motherfuckers. You want to be sexy and you want to get wasted, come. We will entertain your face and give you the space to entertain yourself,” she said. Her penchant for the word ‘motherfucker’ is endearing, and certainly part of her unmistakeable charm.
“We didn’t start here at the Dragonfly, but we’ve spent the most time here.”
We love everybody that works with us at this club. They’re used to us, they appreciate us, and they let us be ourselves, which is way fucking important.
The theme on this night was “Raunchy Roadhouse,” so everyone came in their finest cowboy attire. And when I say everyone, I really mean me. I wore a red leather vest, a cowboy hat, a bandana, and a belt with a Magnum condom in it. Duke went a different route, with a black leather hat that said “German Interrogator” rather than buckaroo. Sandy looked a little like Judy Jetson, with white boots, a black skirt, a silver flask full of something foul-smelling and mysterious, and a few lipstick kisses from transexual. (Editor’s Note: said transsexual sent recent text message: “Your mouth tasted so sweet. Please tell me this is not the last time I will taste you.”) Aphrodisia wore a shiny purple Motown dress, and Smash went off the reservation entirely, wearing a skirt made out of ties, black eyeliner, lipstick, and a turban. A blue turban, actually.
“We tried it in Silverlake, and we wanted a Silverlake vibe,” said Kitty, “but the locale wasn’t us. We’re such a non-drama, non-aggro kind of place, and you don’t want to deal with bullshit coming in and going out.”
Always a good thing when you’re waiting in line while wearing lipstick and a turban.
“We came here in 2000 from New York and the DC area, but we didn’t get what we expected. There wasn’t anything unpretentious like we wanted. We can be snotty if we’re in the mood, but we just don’t want that bullshit in the club. We want everybody to feel cool to come in, dress how they normally do and watch, or dress outrageous and get involved, or find a happy medium. We knew what we wanted out of the club scene, and what we were missing. We thought we’d see how many people were feeling the way we were. It started very underground, and then it blew up.”
And what can you expect if you haven’t been to Miss Kitty’s before? “We charge you to walk in the door,” she said, “so we’re going to give you your ten dollars worth and more.”
Go anywhere and tell me that you were entertained more than here for ten bucks, and I’ll buy your drinks all night long.
“Leave all your bullshit at the door. No matter what you look like or what you’re into, come in and have a good time. Drink as much as you want or as little as you want, because you’re going to find real people having a real fucking good time.”