Seeing as the last 3 sex toys I reviewed were pink, I thought I’d change it up a bit and review something blue. Seriously, I have no idea why companies love to send me so much pink stuff.
So. The Hula Beads from Lelo intrigued me when I found out that they not only vibrate, but also rotate. They’re meant to give the same subtle sensation as Ben Wa Balls. I’m not a fan of internal vibrations, so I wanted these mainly for the rotating motion. I was lucky enough to receive these as a tester from Lovehoney – I didn’t get the box; only the beads, remote and piece of plastic used to open the remote so I can’t comment on all the accessories included if you were to purchase these. The main thing I love about these is the colour. They’re the most amazing shade of turquoise and the only reason why I still have the Hula Beads in my possession. If it wasn’t for the colour, they’d have probably ended up in the bin a long time ago.
Made out of Lelo’s incredibly smooth and silky silicone, the beads & remote feel nice to the touch and would be easy to clean, if it wasn’t for the mirrored bits of plastic. I find that lube tends to get trapped in the tiny gap in the beads, which is an absolute nightmare to clean. The size is worryingly big – I pretty much knew I’d have difficulty getting them in the second I laid my eyes on them. Anything longer than 4 inches when I’m not completely and utterly aroused is a big no-no.
The beads themselves are rechargeable, whilst the remote needs 2xAAA batteries to get going. There is a button on the side of the beads that activates them. With the rotating motions on, they make the cutest whizzing sound ever, which is barely audible when the beads are inserted.
I’ve used these in the two ways recommended by Lelo – with only the top bead inserted so that the lower one can vibrate & stimulate the labia, and with the beads completely inserted. Getting them in all the way is such a nightmare because they’re so large. I need to seriously warm up for quite a while to be able to insert them all the way in comfortably. Even whilst being completely warmed up and relaxed, I still had difficulty keeping them in to walk around with them inserted because they just kept slipping out. Even whilst sitting down they kept gradually making their way out of my vagina due to the rotating motion which just felt uncomfortable. I know for a fact my pelvic floor muscles are in good condition – my pants stay dry during even the most violent sneezes, so it’s not my vagina’s fault.
The biggest issue I had when using them internally (inserted all the way) was that they kept grinding against my pubic bone when positioned to stimulate my G-spot (which I now discovered I DO have). It felt like something was slamming its way into my pubic bone from the inside, trying to get me to let it out. Creepy and far from pleasant, to say the least.
When used with only the top bead inserted, I have to keep my thumb on the bottom of the beads to make sure they stay in. The top ball rotates whilst the bottom one vibrates, which does feel nice but isn’t exactly amazing.
The remote is ergonomically designed, fitting into my hand comfortably and isn’t heavy even with the batteries inserted. And here lies the problem – the batteries. I’m not sure about most people but personally if I were to invest in such an expensive item I wouldn’t want to be adding to the cost on a regular basis in the form of small things that give energy. I’d also question the remote’s waterproofness because there is a clear gap left even when the cap is screwed on tightly. The idea behind the remote is that it vibrates in time with the beads which (in theory) makes this a great couple’s toy, because it enables one partner to know exactly what the wearer of the beads is experiencing.
In reality though? I found the remote to be stupidly loud, especially compared to the beads which are so quiet. It’s also nowhere near as powerful as the beads, which I found out when I tried using it on my clitoris. The beads simply don’t provide enough stimulation for me to orgasm from using them alone so I have to combine them with a clit vibe, usually the Mia 2 or We-Vibe Tango.
In terms of actual function… I’ve had these since February. That’s 6 months, and I still have no idea how they work. I emailed Lelo to ask for instructions, TWICE, but they never bothered to reply. What I have determined from my experience and other reviews, is that there are 8 patterns you can choose from. Apparently, because something different seems to happen each time I use these. On the one hand, they provide unexpected results, which can be thrilling. On the other hand, it’s annoying as hell because I get so frustrated. Once I figure out what works for me I want to use that over and over again, not spend 20 minutes trying to work out how I got there last time.
The Sense Touch thing still confuses me. This is the second Lelo toy I’ve used that had this function and I honestly do not understand it, at all. The vibrations increase in intensity when I hold the remote at certain angles but that seems completely & utterly random so I don’t bother using the remote for the sake of my mental wellbeing . The main disadvantage of using the beads without the remote is that I have to keep taking them out if I want to change the settings, but I’d much rather do that than have to deal with that awful contraption.
I still haven’t made my mind up about the Hula Beads. They’re okay. They look nice, they idea behind them is great and they have potential. I just feel like Lelo got so excited over their release that they didn’t even wait till they were ready to distribute to users with real vaginas. I feel like they’re so incredibly overpriced. The RRP in the UK is £118.99 which is crazy for this sort of thing, especially as you still need to buy batteries if you want to use the whole thing properly. I have no idea why the remote wasn’t made rechargeable like the beads.
So do I think they’re worth almost £120? Honestly? Nope. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate them but they’re far from amazing and didn’t impress me at all. They’re way too big for me to enjoy or to be used as Kegel exercisers, yet they don’t provide quite enough stimulation to be used in a way to achieve satisfying orgasms.
If you still feel like you’d like to give these wirly beads a go, you can buy some from Lovehoney (although they only sell them in purple & black)
Lovehoney kindly provided me with the Hula Beads in exchange for my very honest and unbiased review.